my book

So I am putting the little man to bed tonight (a whole 'nother story in itself!) and we go through the whole ritual:
pajamas. brush teeth. wash hands (don't ask - somehow it became part of the routine and the world will end if it is removed from the routine). give Daddy hugs and kisses. read the "moon book" (Goodnight, Moon). turn out lamp. get into bed.

however, tonight, I say to little man, "Are you going to throw your pacifiers down?" (a new lovely little trick he has to get us back in the room). he shakes his head no.
"Are you going to cry and yell?" (this kiddo is a master manipulator). he shakes his head no.

I tuck him in, leave and close the door, and the screaming/shreiking/yelling/completely snot-covered ordeal begins. following my American Academy of Pediatrics advice for crazy 2-yr olds, I give him 10 minutes.
the minute I open the door to go back in, he stops crying. oh yeah.
then he says to me. "mama, poo poo."
what?!?

and actually, he did. he really had pooped.(to his credit, however, he had not thrown the pacifiers on the floor! way to go, son!)
so, lamp on, change diaper, apply ointment, discuss "night night" again - no throwing objects, no yelling, etc.

tuck into bed, kiss, "I love you", leave, close door. he doesn't yell. great, right? I thought so.

until he started growling at me.

yes. growling. I told him he couldn't cry and yell, so instead my brilliant son decides he will growl at me. so I quickly opened the door again and said, "no growling either."
and honestly, that was that. he was asleep in 2 minutes.

we have had going-to-sleep drama for a month or so with the little man and I was stressed, reading articles, receiving lots of unsolicited advice from well-meaning co-workers, etc.
and to think that all I had to do was to tell him to stop.

I think I will write a book and make millions of $$ - the title will be "How to Get Your 2-yr-old to Quit Throwing Fits and Go to Sleep". the inside will have 5 words: "Tell him to stop it."

and you can all say you knew me back when... (and yes, I'll give you all an autographed copy of the book.)

sigh.