To the lady who constantly invades my personal space:

To the Lady who Constantly Invades My Personal Space:

Well, it was bound to happen. Eventually, someone would have to come talk to me at my desk at work and take things a little too far. And last week it happened.

Before we go on I will admit to having a larger "sphere of personal space" than most people. I am admittedly, not a big hugger, and I WILL take a step or two backwards if I get uncomfortable as we are speaking. But what I am to describe is unacceptable, regardless of how large one's "sphere" might be.

I realize I was wearing my headphones and didn't hear you walk up behind me. I understand that you wanted to lower your voice, as not to disturb other people. But when I finally DO hear you and turn my head to find your face 2 INCHES from mine, that is not right. And the kicker... you kept your face there as the conversation continued! I literally leaned forward to try and put some distance between us, but because I was seated, I was completely trapped. I honestly have no recollection of what we talked about because I could not get past the fact that your face was so close!

I thought, perhaps, it was an isolated incident. Maybe you were just caught in an awkward situation as well. But no. You did it again this week. What gives? Are we in a secret society for which I missed my membership card? Do i give off a hard-of-hearing vibe? Please let me know because incident #3 will definitely require a forceful response.

In the spirit of giving you the benefit of the doubt, I offer these suggestions:
1. use the ever-popular shoulder tap if I am initially unresponsive... joyfully distant from my face
2. just yell. I'd rather have you make a little noise when given the choice.
3. no onions for lunch. do I need to elaborate? I thought not.

Thank you for your time and hopefully we won't need to have this conversation again.
Sincerely,
Life of Preston