Weekly Helping of Crazy

It's that time again....

Well, last night I went to feed the dogs and discovered, alas, there was no dog food. I could not go to the store because Will was already asleep and Mike wasn't home.
What is a girl to do?

option 1: not feed them
problem: they are super-annoying when they are hungry and they KNOW when it is time to eat

option 2: wake up William and go get food
problem: do I LOOK stupid? (well, actually you can't see me - but I promise, I am NOT that dumb)

option 3: find something else for them to eat
this had to be the solution... but what was I going to feed them? I was NOT going to waste our expensive lunchmeat (and, yes, comparatively speaking, lunchmeat IS expensive!) on those fools

my solution (and this is where it gets good - so read carefully!) was to get the chicken scraps from dinner THAT WERE ALREADY BURIED IN THE TRASHCAN, crumble a few saltine crackers on top, and voila! dog food

for the record, neither dog has gotten sick and I think they rather enjoyed it! ha! (I swear, though, that I saw Lucy give me a dirty look)

please, wipe the tears!

I was literally crying this was so funny and Mike actually snorted!!




the whole time I was watching this, I kept visualizing the 3 grown men (or women) in the recording booth, recording the sound for the puppet voices... and that REALLY made me laugh


spuɐɥ ʎɯ uo ǝɯıʇ ɥɔnɯ ooʇ ǝʌɐɥ ı 'ʎןʇuǝɹɐddɐ

¡ǝɹǝɥ ʇı ʎɹʇ ¿ʇǝʎ pǝʎouuɐ noʎ ǝɹɐ ¿ƃuıʞɹoʍ ʇı sı ˙ǝןdoǝd ɥʇıʍ ssǝɯ oʇ ƃuıʎɹʇ ʇsnɾ ɯɐ ı ¡ɐɥ

funny! not the simple ha ha kind - the "make you pee your pants" kind!

I laughed so hard when I saw this last Saturday! (the second video, that is; the first one is not that funny)

and please don't consider this a political comment; for the record, I am undecided!


also, I am quite interested who lands on this post after reading the title!


like I have mentioned before, my creativeness and non-laziness comes in spurts. Well, I am coming off the tail-end of a small spurt...


What is it? you ask. Well, it is a nap mat. And I made it. And I saved myself some serious moo-lah. And I had to make it because the little man started pre-school. (mmmwwwwaaahhhhhh! I am not ready to write about that yet.)

I couldn't tell you how I did it because there was no pattern and I really didn't keep track in my head of what I had done. Nevertheless, it looks pretty darn good, and pretty manly as far as toddler nap mats go. Thanks, Wendy, for inspiring me! (when this one falls apart in a month or so I'll be calling you to make for us like the one you made Cooper!)

Look! Project #2!

Hopefully, this one is a little more obvious... It's a trick-or-treat bag for the little man! felt, ribbon, glitter... all the things I can only get away with for a little boy because it is Halloween! and again, couldn't tell you how I did it. As I was finishing up, I told Mike I might just do a little dance, I was so proud of myself. he didn't care.

And lest we think that I have a big head or anything, let me clarify. If you don't know me well, you really don't understand what a big accomplishment this is for me! Two (count them - two!) sewing projects in one week. and neither one had to be thrown in the trash and re-started. And only 3 seams had to be ripped out!


Open up the Bottle again!

Well, folks, it's time for our weekly installment. (actually, I have no idea if I am doing this on the same day every week or not... whatever....)

I have noticed that other helpful and with-it bloggers out there have weekly features that focus on meals for your kids, nice recipes, do-it-yourself projects, even weight loss. me? no. we talk about crazy.

let me first set the scene. a gorgeous Saturday afternoon at the local (and by local I mean gi-normous suburbia-like) pumpkin patch. a wonderful picnic lunch (and by picnic, I mean that we brought Subway sandwiches to the pumpkin patch) with the little family. letting little man run around crazy through the petting zoo, the pumpkin fields, and various other attractions.

becoming parched, I take a a sip of Cherry Coke out of the 20 oz. bottle opened during the aforementioned picnic.



there is something BESIDES Cherry Coke in my mouth.

spit, stupid! spit it out all over yourself and all over the ground! now!

people looked. lots of people looked. Mike at that moment thought I might have finally lost it.

as I realize that people (lots of people) are watching a grown woman spit Cherry Coke all over the sidewalk on purpose, I realize the need to explain myself and save some face.

so, what do I do? I yell, really loudly, "There was a BEE in my Cherry Coke!"

yeah, that did it! there is NO WAY people will think I am crazy now...


See! Right there in the middle of all the Cherry Coke is the bee!

(and, because I have decided to write my own sentence to the looney bin, I decided to take a picture of it!)

This Week's Special:

Free dog with each purchase of Crazy! (seriously! any takers on these fools?!)

three guesses and the first two don't count!

Do I really need to tell you what happens next?

anyway, let's back up and get the entire sequence of events...
(and, please, keep all comments concerning the vinyl tablecloth to yourself - I had it out because I was working on a project which I will show very soon! and yes, I agree that it is hideous! and yes, the only reason I bought it was because it cost exactly $1)

"hhmmmmm.... what do we have here?"

"heh, heh, my mom is really wondering what I am going to do..."

"lookin' good so far! let's keep her wondering... what will I do?"

"awwww, yeah! here we go!"

And how do you eat grapes at your house?



because it was an "official" photo session and because I think he is prety darn cute, I wanted to share...

a random question, are his teeth supposed to be that numerous and large? (and no, we have not been to the dentist yet. one step at a time, people...)

just to make it clear what REALLY happened, not even 10 minutes after this photo shoot was over, little man had his first "full-on, all-out meltdown in a public place" oh yeah, at least it was after the pictures :)


Going to the Fair

Mike and I managed to take personal days on the same day last week and headed out to the fair with the little man.

As we are making our way through the auto bulding, who did we see? My parents! Yes, of all the thousands of people there that day, we ran into them and got to hang out for awhile. I am so glad we ran into them because they got to see the little man have some fun!

at the petting zoo:

on a ride in the Midway (actually this was the Kidway for little ones):

I will confess, we spent the equivalent of $7 (yes $7!!) for little man and I to take that 2 minute ride - and he didn't even like it! such a rip-off! (well, at least we got a cute picture)

at the auto show:

Now not too long after all these events, little man started getting REALLY crabby. It was, of course, nap time, but we couldn't get him to go to sleep in his stroller, even though it was reclined and everything! At one point, he has bucking his head back so hard against the stroller that our drinks went sloshing all over the place.

My parents were also heading home about this time and gave us all their leftover tickets. So what did we do next?

William received two pacifiers, Mike and I each received a beer, and we roamed the air-conditioned exhibit hall until he fell asleep. Ahhhhh, sweet relief! We headed back outside to sample some lovely foods (I can't even confess how much we ate) and roam the rest of the fair for an hour or two. Little man woke up right as we were heading to the car - perfect timing!


Characters in the stands

Mike and I went to the Cowboy game vs. the Bengals last week (thanks Dad!) and I just had to share some pics of people in the stands. I have almost as much fun watching the people around me as I do watching the game:

Really, lady? (and yes, the glasses are star-shaped)

About this guy, Mike said, "What do you think he smells like?" (It was BLAZIN' hot in the sun!)

Enough said.

And then there was this guy:

The riff-raff they let into the games these days...


haircut... sniff, sniff...

Let me begin by saying that I spent a LOT of time writing a really lovely post and then it disappeared! Here is take #2:

There were moments where I wasn't sure if the little man would ever get hair. Baldness is fine, and can even be distinguishing, on older gentlemen. And on little babies - so cute! However, at 14, 15, 16 months, I was doing a lot of worrying over the little man's locks (or lack of).

All my worrying was for nothing, because at 18 months, it started to grow. Sort-of. My little man channeled every popular TV star from the late 80s and started growing a mullet. Yeah, it only grew in the back. You can get a hint of it from this picture (and this was from early August):

And he did NOT get those pretty thick, baby curls that most kids get. Mostly stringy and thin.

So, it was time.

We found King Barber in Richardson and are so happy we did! Mike got his hair cut at the same time and loved it! William, however, was NOT impressed. I'll let these next couple of pictures speak for themselves:

Miss Linda cut his hair and was so patient. Little man kept leaning wayyyy over, almost falling off the little booster seat, like if she couldn't see his face, she couldn't cut his hair. Good try little man! Anyway, he survived! And he even received a certificate to commemorate his rite of passage into toddler-hood.

I tried to get some before/after shots, but I don't think you can really tell from these:

Here is a picture of Miss Linda. She was soooo sweet! And again, little man is trying to hide from her!

Opening up the bottle...

That's right, folks! It's time to open up the Bottle of Crazy again and see what comes out. I submit the following:

Double-fisting it - oh yeah, he gets mad when he doesn't have both of them...

To get the full effect of this one, click on the picture. Do you see all that goo on his face. Our labradror, Abbie, slimed him. Think Ghostbusters and do you remember Slimer? Yeah, just like that.

Way to go! What a great mom you are! You are teaching the little man how to clean!
Not so fast.
This is the little man's favorite toy. Uh huh. He carries it around and scrapes stuff with it. The only way we get it away from him is to hide it after he falls asleep. That gives us many days of peace because Lord knows I do not clean with that thing very often.

Well, until next time, if you have any moments from your own Bottle of Crazy that you would like to share, please do! Because if I am the only one who ever has these moments/feelings, I have more problems that I thought!


Open for business!

Well, folks, I have been contemplating this for some time. I have been a little "crafty" lately and I have thought I might be able to make a little extra $$ if I tried to sell some of it. I proudly present to the first product offered by Life of Preston:

That's right! Get it before it's gone! We are selling CRAZY! No preservatives. No additives. All natural. You can even call it organic if you want.

A bottle of crazy from Life of Preston has been known to cause the following side effects:


temporary blindness:

random wearing of helmets:

moving faster than the speed of light (at least faster than the shutter speed on the camera):

I have decided that this will become a weekly event: Opening up the Bottle of Crazy once a week and letting a little dribble out.

So, in honor of the initial offering of Bottle of Crazy, I proudly present the moment of the week:

I asked (aka told) Mike to go to Luby's for dinner the other night. If you don't know Luby's, too bad for you. Long story short: cafeteria-style, lots of real food (no hamburgers or french fries here), not-so-much ambiance, and lots of old people (sorry mom and dad!). I like it. Mike does not. So we went.

So I decided it was high-time that William start to feed himself more. I wanted to eat too so we let him go at it with the mashed potatoes. The kid screamed for both of his toddler utensils (spoon AND spork) so we gave them to him. And what did he do?

Don't you wish you could double-fist your dinner and eat mashed potatoes and macaroni and cheese at the same time? (For the record, the macaroni and cheese was Mike's)

My MOST proud moment, however, was when Will realized he could stick the spoon in the potatoes and it would stand up straight. He did that, threw both his hands into the air and screamed at the top of his lungs, "TA-DAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Way to go, son!
At one point, Mike asked why all these old people (again, sorry mom and dad) come to Luby's. I told him it was probably to get away from people like us.
Towards the end of the meal, one of the bus people came over and gave Will a balloon. Yes, I sat and watched as the very large, strange man tied a string in a knot around my son's wrist.

Mike swore he wil never go back to Luby's. I'd eat there every night if I could.